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Sunday, August 05, 2007 one more week till sch starts. well, i'm bored. i feel like a handicap this whole week. dun like the feeling of not able to bend my legs and hand freely. and sleeping was hell on the first night. argh. the worst are the scars. its healing so slowwwww lar.   disgusted? hah. it just dried up yesterday. previously its worst, with pus ozzing out.... btw. i've spent quality time with reading lately. but its actually quite depressing. sometimes i wish i can be bimbo and start to read some bimbotic books, but somehow i can't stop going straight to the history/philosophy/politics section. i felt so old sometimes, the recent 3 books that i read are abt live and death, which is the depressing part. can't stop my tears while reading Mitch Albom's book. especially tuesday with morrie. i remembered i was sitting at chinatown's macdonald's, reading that book while waiting for ql for a whole hr, with mcmaffin and tea and my classical music, my tears just keep flowing out while reading. and the previous book was a memoir of the holocaust. which i'm pretty much traumatized. not that its my first book abt the holocaust, but well, everytime u read this horrible period, the feeling... sigh... i must admit that i have a great fear for death since young. i think since 3 years old. i will stare at the ceiling and think before i sleep, there will be nothing after death, no feeling, nothing. but i will console myself and say there's still 60 years for me to understand. but more then 15 years had past but that fear for death hasn't decrease much. so i hope by reading more of such book, i'll face death with more courage... {1:21:00 am}
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